Bryden Allen's Website

If I had been born Female


I have been very happy to have been born male. And I have had most of the male characteristics. So I have always enjoyed fighting with other guys and taking risks. So I loved climbing trees and dangerous activities like this. In fact, when I was young, I wasn’t expecting to live beyond 40 (but, of course, when I reached the age of 40 I didn’t feel this way at all). I also tended to be rather competitive in male sort of manner about climbing and other achievements. The one thing I wasn’t very male-like was that I was rather small. But this didn’t worry me at all – I was still a very confident little fellow.

 

When I was young I liked all the standard boyish stories like - Biggles and the Rider-Haggard stories. Then, as I matured a little, I tended to like the stories like Pride and Prejudice when there is kind of battle between between the major male and female characters. Then, when I married, I very quickly realised that this conflict between couples did not end, when these couples were married. And then over time I started accept that conflict between spouse was a very natural part of life. And this conflict state ought to be accepted and even, to some extent, enjoyed.
            I have always identified myself just as much with the female characters as with the male characters - in fact, often even more so. So, in Pride and Prejudice, I identified more with Lizzy than Darcy – I didn’t like Darcy’s wealth at all. When the TV film came out in 1995, I watched this many more times than I had read the book. And then the character I liked best of all was Kitty. She is such a normal, simple, healthy girl without any great expectations like Jane and Lizzy had. Of course it is a simply wonderful film.

 

The other film I have watched many times is “A Passage to India” (David Lean’s 1984 version). This is very much my favourite film. I again personify with all the characters – even some of the supposedly “bad” people like Ronnie and The Collector, Turton. These characters are simply doing what they imagine their duty to be – and they acted reasonably well in the various circumstances.
            But, of course, the character I identify most with is Adela. She is such a simple honest soul and she is even happy to take a few risks. I loved her adventure to the sexy statues in the wilds and then being chased by the large set of monkeys. I would have loved to have had the guts to do that myself. But I have ridden a normal bike in parklands many times myself so I know their limitations. It takes a long time to accelerate on a bike. She would have been better off, just by running away very fast. And, if you are being chased by a group of wild monkeys, you don’t have time to hold your hat on or hitch up your skirt, which is what Adela did (perhaps she felt she had to maintain her female dignity, even if it meant she might be eaten). So she is a really wonderful girl. But, of course, the film looks a lot better just the way it is – my practical concerns are best ignored.
            I hope, if I has been in Adela’s situation, I would have done all the things that Adela did. So I would have been cheesed off that Ronnie hadn’t come into my room and given me a full-on kiss on the first night. She felt Ronnie sucked up to the English Authority much too much. Like Adela I would rather have fancied Dr Aziz in the caves - and then I would have had a fantasy about being caught and raped. And then I’d have fled like she did. And then every thing else would have followed.
            At the end, Adela was very aware of the affection between Richard Fielding and Dr Aziz. So she was prepared to go out into the large Indian town friendless, if need be. She wasn’t at all possessive. So I like Adela very much.


It is a fantastic film. But I myself would have given the film a nice positive ending. Right at the end of the film, back in England, after receiving a friendly letter from Aziz, Adela is watching the rain come down. I would have Adela reply to Aziz’s letter in the following manner:

 

Dear Dr Aziz,
                        Thank very much you for your very kind letter. I have been thinking about your life in India a lot. I love your simpler way of life in India - with your masses of people, hot sun and teaming rains. I am determined to return there again by myself.
            I have taken a job as a nurse in my local hospital in London to earn some money and also to learn how to do a useful job. When I have earned enough money for my passage, I will return to India and hopefully work in your little hospital. Hopefully we will become very good friends again.
            Some day we will go for a walk to visit a local cave. And then my previous phantasy should become real – so you will kindly rape me in the cave. I think you will enjoy this activity, because it will be your revenge on me for the time I caused you to spend in jail. And then I can give you two more children to accompany your current children, Akba and Jemina.
My original goal, in coming to India, was to meet some “real Indian people”. I have already achieved this goal. My next goal is to integrate myself completely into that wonderfully colourful society of yours. So eventually I will become a real Indian woman. This is my dream – we all need our dreams.
            So I will be seeing you in a little less than a year’s time. You don’t need to reply to this letter. I will be coming to see you and work with you whether you want me or not.
                                    Love
                                                Adela.

 

When I broke my back in 1999, I had to forego most of my physical activities like walking, dancing and climbing. So I started writing novels instead. And here I found I vastly preferred to write as the female narrator. This is because the woman has to bear the consequences of having to bring up a resulting child, if the man gets his way in a temporary relationship. You will see how this all works out, if you read any of the 6 novels, which are already on my website. These narrator women then all tend to become the “heros” of my novels.
            In all my novels I deal with the huge problems of how to form green, egalitarian communities in the first place and then how they can be successfully run. So this means that these novels cannot be very easily red (particularly by the majority of people who firmly believe in “Capitalism”, “Globalism” and “Economic Growth”). Here then I thought I would write two short stories, which simply tell what might have happened to me, when I was young and if I had been born female.

 

This picture shows a map of where I lived in Mill Hill and where a lot of the action occurs in my story

"Conflicts between good Friends".

 

I have enjoyed doing this immensely because it is fun to figure what might have might have happened with some of your friends, if I had been female instead of male. And as such I can describe the exact details of the precise environment, friends and family that I was involved in. Of course I have had to change the names of my friends. But I can describe some them fairly well. So here are two possible adventures, which I would have liked to have had, when I was young. (I think I may have allowed my first story to “grow” more than I should have. I got a bit carried away with all the details.)

 

To read my two stories you must click on: “If I had been born Female - booklet”(pdf) and go to page 3.

 

My next normal webpage is: Bryden’s Inventions.

 

          You might now also like to look back at:

either my "Home Page" (which introduces this whole website and lists all my webpages),

or  “My Novels (which introduces this major set of webpages).

 

Updated on 14/11/2016.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can click on any of the following pictures and this will send you to the relevant webpage.